Wine is Fine but Whiskey is Quicker...

I like to pretend I am alone .completely alone may be post apocalypse or plague whatever no one left to act normal for.. no need to hide who I really am...ah! It would be freeing

sometimes I wonder what it'd be like for every thing inside me which is denied and unknown to be reviled...but ill never know, I live my life in hiding my survival depends on it.. All along

I find people around me are all making some kind of connection like friendship or romance but human bonds always make a messy complications.. Commitment sharing...caring. Beside if I let somebody that close ... they'd see who I really am.. . None of us are who we appear to be on the outside.. But we must maintain appearances to survive..

The willful taking of one's own life...drags you away from yourself, you loose you and then you are forever looking and searching for company to keep...desperate to feel something... anything and in the process getting fucked even more
I thought this was a game my alter ego and I were playing but relationship change evolves and this one is getting deep… I realize now.. that my days are numbered and I better make the most of it...score one for the little wooden boy

(Its heavy…. it will make sense.)